e|--------------------------|----------------------|
B|---------5------5-----5---|----------------------|
G|-3/6--7----6-7----6-7-----|-6--5---3-------------|
D|--------------------------|----------------------|
A|--------------------------|----------------------|
E|--------------------------|----------------------|
Verse 1
[F]
I′ve got a stump-legged lady, To thump out the backbeat bumps.
[Bb] [F]
I've got a bald-headed bassman, Cos he really hits the ceiling when he jumps.
[C]
I've got a fat joan-a player, Oughta hear him howl 'hosanna′ when he swings
[F]
He doubles harp and harpsichord, But if he′s feeling bored, For a treble he will double chins.
Chorus
[Bb] [Dm]
I'm king cripple in the band, and everybody is the joker in the pack
[Eb] [Bb]
We′ve got a hunchback drummer, Just in case we get too laid back
[F] [Bb] [C] [F]
We say the world's a pavement oyster, So we′re gonna hoist a Union Jack.
Verse 2
[F]
The lead guitarist is a pigmy, and shortly he'll quick rig me up a riff
[Bb] [F]
The roadie gets his rocks off But if he takes his socks off, don′t whiff
[C]
They cut his feet off, they're athletic. He's a walking anaesthetic for the blues
[F]
And it′s amazing how he sways to the triple band off stage, In his seven inch high, high stamp smelling shoes
Verse 3
[F]
The audiences panic, When my sax′s schizophrenic blows
[Bb] [F]
He's a double-headed giant, And he calls himself a Bryant and a May-be
[C] [F]
You′ll half believe it When he lights up, stuffs two saxes in his gob and goes
Chorus
[Bb] [Dm]
I'm king cripple in the band, and everybody is the joker in the pack
[Eb] [Bb]
We′ve got a hunchback drummer, Just in case we get too laid back
[F] [Bb] [C] [F]
We say the world's a pavement oyster, So we′re gonna hoist a Union Jack
Outro
[C] [G]
We say the world's a pavement oyster
[C] [F]
So we're gonna hoist a Union Jack
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| / Slide up
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