https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XROMw3Z4e0
[Chords]
EADGBe
[E7] 020100
[Fdim7] 12010X
[Bm/F#] 225432
[G] 320003
[E7/G#] 420100
[A] X02220
Intro
[E7] [Fdim7] [Bm/F#] [G] [E7/G#] [A] [Adim7] [E7] [A]
Verse 1
[A] [C#7] [D/F#]
For years we had an aspidistra in a flower pot
[Bm7] [A] [B7] [E]
On the whatnot, near the 'atstand in the 'all
[A] [E7] [C#m7] [F#m]
It didn't seem to grow 'til one day our brother Joe
[E] [B7] [E7] [B7] [E]
Had a notion that he'd make it strong and tall
[A7] [G] [D]
So he's crossed it with an acorn from an oak tree
[B7] [E7]
And he's planted it against the garden wall
Bridge
[A] [Adim7] [A] [A] [Adim7] [A]
It shot up like a rocket, 'til it's nearly touched the sky
[A] [B7] [E7]
It's the biggest aspidistra in the world
[Bm] [Bdim7] [Bm] [Bm] [Bdim7] [Bm]
We couldn't see the top of it, it got so bloomin' high
[E7] [Fdim7] [Bm/F#] [G] [E7/G#] [A]
It's the biggest aspi - distra in the world
[C#m] [G#7] [C#m]
When father's had a skin full at his pub, 'The Bunch of Grapes'
[C#m] [G#7] [B7] [E]
He doesn't go all fighting mad and getting into scrapes
[A] [Aaug] [F#7] [Bm] [E7]
No, you'll find him in his bear-skin playing Tarzan of the apes
[E7] [Fdim7] [Bm/F#] [G] [E7/G#] [A]
Up the biggest aspi - distra in the world
Verse 2
[A] [C#7] [D/F#] [A]
We have to get it watered by the local fire brigade
[Bm7] [A] [B7] [E]
So they put the water rates up half a crown
[A] [E7] [C#m7] [F#m]
The roots stuff up the drains, grow along the country lanes
[E] [B7] [E] [B7] [E7]
And they came up half a mile outside the town
[A7] [G] [D]
Once we hired the Crystal Palace for an 'ot house
[B7] [E7] [B7] [E]
But a jealous rival went and burnt it down
Bridge 2
[A] [Adim7] [A] [A] [Adim7] [A]
The tom cats and the moggies love to spend their evenings out
[A] [B7] [E7]
Up the biggest aspidistra in the world
[Bm] [Bdim7] [Bm] [Bm] [Bdim7] [Bm]
They all begin meowing when the buds begin to sprout
[E7] [Fdim7] [Bm/F#] [G] [E7/G#] [A]
Up the biggest aspi - distra in the world
[C#m] [G#7] [C#m] [B7] [E]
The dogs line up for miles and miles a funny sight to see
[C#m] [G#7] [F#7] [B7] [E7]
They sniff around for hours on end and wag their tails with glee
[A] [Aaug] [F#7] [Bm] [E7]
So I've had to put a notice up to say it's not a tree
[E7] [Fdim7] [Bm/F#] [G] [E7/G#] [A]
It's the biggest aspi - distra in the world
Bridge 3
[A] [Adim] [A] [A] [Adim] [A]
It's getting worn and weary and its leaves are turning grey
[A] [B7] [E7]
Its the oldest aspidistra in the world
[Bm] [Bdim7] [Bm] [Bm] [Bdim7] [Bm]
So we water it with half a pint of Guiness every day
[E7] [Fdim7] [Bm/F#] [G] [E7/G#] [A]
Its the stoutest aspid - istra in the world
[C#m] [G#7] [C#m] [B7] [E]
The borough council told us that we've got to chop it down
[C#m] [G#7] [F#7] [B7]
It interferes with aeroplanes that fly above the town
[E] [A] [Aaug] [F#7] [Bm] [E7]
So we sold it to a wood yard for a lousy half a crown
[E7] [Fdim7] [Bm/F#] [G] [E7/G#] [A] [A] [Adim7] [E7] [A]
It's the biggest aspi - distra in the world
Outro
N.C.
The biggest, biggest, biggest aspidistra in the world
