As performed in the 2011 revival of Anything Goes (F, M, and B denote Female, Male and 'Both')
F:
[Bb] [Bdim] [Cm7] [F7]
At words poetic, I'm so pathetic
[Bb] [C#dim] [G7]
That I always have found it best,
[Gaug] [Cm] [Eb] [F7]
Instead of getting 'em off my chest,
[Bb] [Cm7] [F7]
To let 'em rest unexpressed,
[Bb] [Bdim] [Cm7] [F7]
I hate parading my serenading
[Bb] [Gm7] [A7]
As I'll probably miss a bar,
[Dm] [Gm6] [Dm] [C7]
But if this ditty is not so pretty
[F7] [Faug]
At least it'll tell you how great you are.
[Bb] [F7]
You're the top! You're the Coliseum.
[Bb] [Gm] [D7]
You're the top! You're the Louvre Museum.
[Eb] [Cm7] [F7] [Bb] [F] [Gm]
You're a melody from a symphony by Strauss
[A7] [Dm] [G9] [C7] [F7] [Faug]
You're a Bendel bonnet, a Shakespeare sonnet, you're Mickey Mouse.
[Bb] [F7]
You're the Nile, you're the Tower of Pisa,
[Bb] [Gm] [Bb7] [Bb9]
You're the smile on the Mona Lisa
[Eb] [Cm7] [F7] [Ebmaj7] [Gaug] [G7] [C7]add6
I'm a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop,
[Cm] [Bb/D] [Eb] [F7] [Bb] [A7]
But if, baby, I'm the bottom you're the top!
M:
[D] [Ebdim] [Em7] [A7]
Your words poetic are not pathetic.
[D] [Fdim] [B7]
On the other hand, babe, you shine,
[Baug] [Em] [G] [A7]
And I can feel after every line
[D] [Em7] [A7]
A thrill divine down my spine.
[D] [Ebdim] [Em7] [A7]
Now gifted humans like Vincent Youmans
[D] [Bm7] [C#7]
Might think that your song is bad,
[F#m] [Bm6] [F#m] [E7]
But I've got a notion, I'll second the motion
[A7] [Aaug]
And this is what I'm going to add:
[D] [A7]
You're the top! You're Mahatma Gandhi.
[D] [Bm] [F#7]
You're the top! You're Napoleon Brandy.
[G] [Em7] [A7] [D] [A] [Bm]
You're the purple light of a summer night in Spain,
[C#7] [F#m] [B9] [E7] [A7] [Aaug]
You're the National Gallery, you're Garbo's salary, you're cellophane.
[D] [A7]
You're sublime, you're turkey dinner,
[D] [Bm] [D7] [D9]
You're the time, of the Derby winner
[G] [Em7] [A7] [Gmaj7] [Baug] [B7] [E7]add6
I'm a toy balloon that’s fated soon to pop
[Em] [D/F#] [G] [A7] [D] [F7]
But if, baby, I'm the bottom you're the top!
[Bb] [F7]
F: You're the top! You're an arrow collar
[Bb] [Gm] [D7]
You're the top! You're a Coolidge dollar,
[Eb] [Cm7] [F7] [Bb] [F] [Gm]
You're the nimble tread of the feet of Fred Astaire,
[A7] [Dm] [G9] [C7] [F7] [Faug]
You're an O'Neill drama! M:You're Whistler's mama! F:You're Camembert.
[Bb] [F7]
M: You're a rose, you're Inferno's Dante,
[Bb] [Gm] [Bb7] [Bb9]
F: You're the nose on the great Durante.
[Eb] [Cm7] [F7] [Ebmaj7] [Gaug] [G7] [C7]add6
I'm just in a way, as the French would say, "de trop".
[Cm] [Bb/D] [Eb] [F7] [Bb] [Ab7]
But if, baby, I'm the bottom you're the top!
[Db] [Ab7]
M: You're the top! You're a dance in Bali.
[Db] [Bbm] [F7]
You're the top! You're a hot tamale.
[Gb] [Ebm7] [Ab7] [Db] [Ab] [Bbm]
You're an angel, you, simply too, too, too diveen,
[C7] [Fm] [Bb9] [Eb7] [Ab7] [Abaug]
You're a Boticcelli, you're Keats! F:You're Shelly! M:You're Ovaltine!
[Db] [Ab7]
F: You're a boon, you're the dam at Boulder,
[Db] [Bbm] [Db7] [Db9]
M: You're the moon, over Mae West's shoulder,
[Gb] [Ebm7] [Ab7] [Gbmaj7] [Bbaug] [Bb7] [Eb7]add6
I'm the nomi-nee of the G. O. P. F:Or GOP!
[Ebm7] [Edim]
M: But if, baby, I'm the bottom
[Db/F] [Bb7]
F: But if, baby, I'm the bottom
[Ebm7] [Db/F] [Gb] [Db/F]
B: But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
[Ebm7] [Db/F] [Gb] [Gdim] [Ab7] [Db]
You're the top!
Reprise:
[C] [G7]
[C] [G7]
M: You're the top! You're my Swanee river!
[C] [Am] [E7]
F: You're the top! You're a goose's liver!
[F] [Dm7] [G7] [C] [G] [Am]
M: You're the baby grande of a Lady, and a Gent.
[B7] [Em] [A9] [D7] [G7] [Gaug]
F:You're a dress from Saxes, you're next years taxes! M:You're Pepsi-dent!
[C] [G7]
F: You're a prize, you're a night at Coney!
[C] [Am] [C7] [C9]
M: You're the eyes of Irene Bordoni.
[F] [Dm7] [G7] [Fmaj7] [Aaug] [A7] [D7]add6
F: I'm a frightened frog, that can find no log to hop!
[Dm] [C/E] [F] [G7] [C] [Ab7]
B:But if, baby, I'm the bottom, you're the top!
[Db] [Ab7]
F: You're the top! You're a Waldorf salad.
[Db] [Bbm] [F7]
M: You're the top! You're a Berlin ballad.
[Gb] [Ebm7] [Ab7] [Db] [Ab] [Bbm]
F: You're the boats that glide on the sleepy Zuider Zee,
[C7] [Fm] [Bb9] [Eb7] [Ab7] [Abaug]
You're an old Dutch master! M:You're Lady Astor! F:You're broccoli!
[Db] [Ab7]
M: You're romance, you're the steppes of Russia,
[Db] [Bbm] [Db7] [Db9]
F: You're the pants on a Roxy usher,
[Gb] [Ebm7] [Ab7] [Gbmaj7] [Bbaug] [Bb7] [Eb7]add6
I'm a broken doll, M:A fol-de-rol, B:a blop!
[Ebm7] [Edim]
F: But if, baby, I'm the bottom
[Db/F] [Bb7]
M: But if, baby, I'm the bottom
[Ebm7] [Db/F] [Gb] [Db/F]
B: But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
[Ebm7] [Db/F] [Gb] [Gdim] [Ab7] [Db]
You're the top!
